As I said in my last post, I spent several years on the agent query treadmill. I refined my query letter over and over. I made notes on any personal rejections I got. I knew exactly who I was sending it to and where they were in the process.
I couldn't tell you what my agent is going to say in her pitch. If there are rejections, I won't see them (unless it's a special circumstance). And while I know who's on my submission list, I have no idea who's actually looking at the project at any given time. I could ask about these things, and I know Jenn would tell me, but still...
It feels a little weird.
It feels weird to go from absolute control over the process to this. It feels weird even though I trust my agent, and even though I know selling isn't a job I want or enjoy.
And it feels weird despite the fact that I know control is an illusion.
Let me say that again.
CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION
|found at newopticalillusions.com|
All that control I thought I had, I didn't REALLY have. I couldn't control the market, the preferences of agents and editors, whether or not I was accepted.
The only thing I really controlled back then was the same thing I control now: the quality of my writing.
If I could tell you the biggest lesson I've learned so far in this part of my adventure, it would be the value of letting go.
Write well. Keep learning. Don't stress. It was something I tried to do as a querying writer, with varying degrees of success. But it's something I must learn to do now or I'll drive myself (and my agent) insane.
Go write something.
If you have to, look at funny cat pictures for a week.
(What? It helps!)