Sometimes life traps you between two necessary things and forces you to choose between them. That's kind of where I'm sitting right now.
The problem is, I'm not a good life multi-tasker. I don't function well if my attention is divided too much between different parts of my life. Unfortunately, right now my attention is split squarely down the middle between two things.
1. My writing.
2. My job.
I want to choose writing. I want to more than anything. I'm so close to getting to where I wanted to go, closer than I've ever been and I can practically TASTE it.
And I want to choose my blog and my social media and my online writer presence. My writer community gives me so much joy and support that the idea of cutting any of it out makes me incredibly sad.
But I need this job. It supports us, and gives us health insurance. I like the company I work for and the people I work with and I want to be a person of integrity who does the best she can. Right now I'm not that person. I'm distracted, and when I'm distracted I forget meetings and write down my schedule wrong and make mistakes on the floor. My job is a fairly high-velocity environment that demands all of my attention while I'm there. I have to be present.
And being present there means, unfortunately, being less present here. So until something changes, I have to cut back. *sob*
After a lot of thought, I've decided on the following things:
Writing. I'm still going to do this (of course), but mostly on my days off. I'm too obsessive and it's too much of a brain-suck otherwise. But I do get two to three days off a week, so I should still be able to keep some consistency and progress. (I hope.)
Blogging. I'm not leaving entirely, not unless I have to. But I am going to drop back down to twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturdays. And I might have to take a short blog hiatus every now and then
Social Media. A writer I know is only doing social media after 3pm right now. She says it works wonders for her ability to focus, so I'm going to try it. I'll try to keep up with everyone, but on a restricted schedule, I may not be able to. I promise, it's not because I don't like you.
I don't want to make any of these changes. I want to kick my feet and scream and say I'm a WRITER dammit and I need to write and tweet and do all those things. But the truth is, I made a commitment to my husband to help him get through school. And I made a commitment to my co-workers to be a part of the team. And those commitments are important too.
So I'm cutting back. But I'll still be here. And I value you all, with your comments and your tweets and your funny jokes, more than you will ever know.