Back to the drawing board...

picture from

This week I had a lot of stuff fall through.

Without going into detail, let's just say that a few things I was working pretty hard on didn't pan out. Some of it was writing stuff, some of it was blogging stuff and some of it was just life stuff.

And when that happens, you start over. You reevaluate your plans, make adjustments and prepare to try again. And the question that always comes up at this point (for me) is this:

Why am I doing this?

If the answer is results-based, I'm in trouble. I'm doing it because I want people to like me or because I want to be seen as successful and popular or becuase I want to win the Newbery Medal and get an apartment in Seattle and own a Newfoundland.

(Hey, I don't judge your dreams!)

Admit it, you want one...

Dreams are awesome, I'm not saying they're not. But results are like wild animals. You can feed them and sit for hours watching them and do everything you can to get them to eat out of your hand. But you cannot make them come to you. The minute you try, they dissapear. And if I'm doing something so I can get results, I'm not going to be doing it for very long.

So if you find yourself asking that question, pay attention to the answer. Are you doing this because it makes you happy, or because you want to be popular? Are you doing it because you think it's worth doing, or because you want to make a million dollars?

If you really want to get something done, you'll find an answer to that question that the world can't touch.  As for me, well...

I do it because I'm crazy.

How about you? Why do you do the things you do?


  1. I feel like I've been struggling a little, dealing with the results end of the business. But like you, I've realized it's pure insanity putting my butt in the chair.

    Great big crazy hugs!

  2. YAH! *gives Wendy great big crazy hugs back*

    There's something so freeing about insanity, isn't there? *grin*

  3. I do what I do because I can't imagine not doing it! So yes, I suppose that would make me slightly crazy, too. ;)

    I hope things get better for you this week, Miriam!

  4. Really, I can't NOT do it. I process life and situations with words, I create, I explore, I find contentment and connection with the craft. It's a part of my identity that really I have no control over now!

  5. I DO want a puppy!

    (I have a name all picked out and everything.)

    I do what I do, as far as writing, because the stories would be collecting in my head whether I wrote them out or not, so why not try and put them out there. If I get rich and famous along the way... well, I'm willing to let the chips fall where they may.

  6. Laura- Thank you! We can be crazy-pants together. :)

    Joanne- Interesting... I like that you say you find contentment in it. I think finding contentment in the act itself, rather than that results, is key here.

    Cacy- Hooray for puppies! And I know what you mean about the stories in your head. I have movies that play in my head all day long! :)

  7. I get hit with the Why Am I Doing This frustration too, and I think it IS important that we evaluate what the answer to that question is. And yes, it's all a matter of perspective and attitude and having reasonable expectations. Thank you for the reminder.

    Oh and I SO want a puppy! That one is adorable!

  8. Great Post! I feel like this is a constant battle. When I started writing I had very different dreams, and why is that? Is it because I read someone's blog and said "hey!I want a three book deal"?Sometimes I just need to take time away from it all and just think. (Cancun, anyone?)

  9. After finishing my very first manuscript I couldn't see my future without writing stories being involved. It's an unintended side effect of listening to that one nagging story at the back of my mind. Four more jumped out when I finished. I have to laugh and hope it pans out some day so I'm not the only one enjoying them.

  10. Krispy- You're very welcome. It's comforting to remind myself of things and then find out everyone else needs the same pep talk. :) Also, Newfie puppies have to have super adorable powers, that's how they get you to own a dog as big as your couch!

    Diana- That happens to me ALL THE TIME. First I just wanted to publish a book. Then I saw someone hit the NYT bestseller list and said "Wait a minute..." Sigh.

    I would go with you to Cancun! I mean, if I didn't have to make money and stuff.

    SM- I understand. It gets surprisingly addictive, doesn't it? Keep writing and practicing, you'll get there!

  11. I ask myself this a lot too. It does make life harder to write as well as work at a paying job. But I enjoy it and try to just focus on that, not on whether I get published or not.


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