Things I say at work that no one understands.

Being both a highly verbal person and a confirmed nerd sort, I frequently want to quote things- movies, Internet stuff, comedians.  There are certain things that I want to say ALL THE TIME.

The problem is, no one understands me when I say them, so I come off as having a bizarre form of Tourette's.

Since I had the good sense to marry someone very like me in this respect, it isn't a problem at home. But it can get quite amusing at work.  Here are some examples of the things I want to say on a regular basis: 

1. Hello, dripping yellow madness.

2. Silence!!  I kill you!!

3. So, it is down to you, and it is down to me.

4. Must affix everything to everything!!

5. Can I get you anything? A hot pocket perhaps? Eggo?  (Sometimes I cannot stop myself from saying this to customers. Mostly I get blank looks, but one guy did burst out laughing.)

6.  I can do it!  I will do it NINE TIMES!!! 

7. If it lays an egg, it'll fall down the back of the television set. (This is always said in a very bad British accent.)

8. Oh no...  what do I do with my arms? Oh no...

9. Who cares?  Water!!

10. Because Starbucks doesn't take American Express. (I can't say this, because it's not true. But when someone comes up and asks, "do you take American Express?"  it's very tempting to sound like the old commercials...)

Am I alone in this?  Does anyone else say things no one understands?

(Do feel free to guess where these bizzare statements originated.  Answers will be provided on Monday.)

10 comments:

  1. All the time. A couple of days ago I said I don't want to use RPC over HTTP because I don't want to open port 134.

    I also say things like: that is an epistemological inexactitude & Go away you have no ontological status. I also find myself still using words like inter alia; albeit; to wit; tort and non compus mentus.

    This is what you get with degrees in philosophy, law and network engineering.

    Then there are the film references - just imagine various quotes from movies like: Monty Python and Search for the Holy Grail, Princess Bride, Star Wars, Star Trek, Casablanca, Young Frankenstein and even 6 Days 7 Nights etc...

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  2. 3--Princess Bride, but how is it that I can't figure out any of the rest of those?

    For some reason, I just really suspect one of those is from Office Space, because you can't quote that many times without one being from Office Space. It's a rule... that... and Princess Bride, but I got that one.

    We quote frequently from movies in my family, and I, luckily, also married someone who "gets" me.

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  3. Marty- Bwahahahaha... Well, now we know where I get it from. Just imagine if I had all that computerese and law-speak at my fingertips. I'd be be unintelligible!

    Wendy- Oddly enough there is no Office Space on that list. That's primarily because I haven't really watched TV for the last few years. I'm getting into it again, but still haven't seen much OS...

    I'm glad you also quote movies! Isn't it entertaining?

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  4. Okay, in my house we quote White Christmas constantly. I think we have that script memorized! It's funny how the quotes fit, too.

    I thought of you when I read about a new YA book out, The Espressologist. Do you still work as a Barista? In this book, apparently the main character sizes people up based on their choice of coffee drink. I'd imagine there's some truth to that?

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  5. Joanne- Ooo! That sounds intriguing! I am still a barista, and you CAN tell a lot from a person by their drink. For example: I work in a college town now, and if you order a white mocha americano, you're probably a sorority girl. :)

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  6. Office Space the movie is very quotable. I've watched a few episodes of The Office and it makes me crazy BECAUSE it can be so stupidly true. The next time Office Space comes on TV (thus edited for television) you should watch it.

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  7. Oh, duh! *slaps forehead* I'm a dufus. I HAVE seen that movie, but not for a long time. But I have a lot of friends who are Office fans, so I got confused.

    Apparently I need coffee!

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  8. Often, when somebody asks me what I ate for dinner or whatever, I say (in a thick southern accent) "We ate sand. And when there was no sand, we ate dirt." Mostly, they just stare.

    I also like...

    No nice crunchable birdses.
    Unless you think round is funny.
    That'll do, Pig.

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  9. Office Space - Movie goodness - *says in nasal voice* "I believe you have my red Swingline Stapler"

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  10. Amy- I think I would pay money to watch you say "no nice crunchable birdses" to someone randomly. That would be amazing. :)

    Marty- Hah, my lack of Office Space quotes has been redeemed! Thank you...

    ReplyDelete

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