Being both a highly verbal person and a confirmed nerd sort, I frequently want to quote things- movies, Internet stuff, comedians. There are certain things that I want to say ALL THE TIME.
The problem is, no one understands me when I say them, so I come off as having a bizarre form of Tourette's.
Since I had the good sense to marry someone very like me in this respect, it isn't a problem at home. But it can get quite amusing at work. Here are some examples of the things I want to say on a regular basis:
1. Hello, dripping yellow madness.
2. Silence!! I kill you!!
3. So, it is down to you, and it is down to me.
4. Must affix everything to everything!!
5. Can I get you anything? A hot pocket perhaps? Eggo? (Sometimes I cannot stop myself from saying this to customers. Mostly I get blank looks, but one guy did burst out laughing.)
6. I can do it! I will do it NINE TIMES!!!
7. If it lays an egg, it'll fall down the back of the television set. (This is always said in a very bad British accent.)
8. Oh no... what do I do with my arms? Oh no...
9. Who cares? Water!!
10. Because Starbucks doesn't take American Express. (I can't say this, because it's not true. But when someone comes up and asks, "do you take American Express?" it's very tempting to sound like the old commercials...)
Am I alone in this? Does anyone else say things no one understands?
(Do feel free to guess where these bizzare statements originated. Answers will be provided on Monday.)