All right! I totally kicked the rewriting gremlin's arse! My second book manuscript is officially typed up and off to my little Review Board. Initial reactions are positive! And the first ten pages is in for a personal review with a fairly big editor in the children's field. I'm going to see her on Saturday, at the writer's conference.
Okay, so on paper that sounds really exciting and full of wondrous possibilities. And there's a little part of me that's jumping up and down, clapping her hands and squealing. But I've also got a hyper-intelligent, practical and slightly condescending big-sister voice in my head. For your enjoyment, I've recorded some of my schizophrenic thoughts here.
Optimism: I can't believe it. I got it done! And the people who have seen it really like it. Maybe this editor will really like it too!
Pessimism: Maybe. But remember, even if she does like it, she can't just say "I want to sign you up right now" She has to do proposals and get the okay from her higher-ups.
Optimism: I think it's some of the best work I've ever done. Maybe I should print out the whole thing in submission form and keep it in my car on Saturday, just in case.
Pessimism: In case of what, your apartment exploding? She's not going to want to haul around a manuscript on the plane. And you can get her input, change things if you need to, and send it to her a week or so after you see her. If she even asks you to, which is kind of a big if.
Optimism: How can she not want to see it? It's good, I know it is. Maybe not Shakespere or Rowlings or anything, but definitely well-written. Surely she'll want me to send her the whole thing. Maybe she'll tell me how good it is in our session.
Pessimism: Or maybe she'll tell you all the things that are wrong with it. It's not like you know everything, you know. In ten years from now, you'll probably read it and cringe. Anyway, the most likely thing to happen, is she'll have some good things to say, and a lot of advice and changes to suggest. You should be prepared for her to say something like, "This wouldn't be right for our publishing house, but good luck in placing it." That's probably what will happen.
So there you have it. My inner argument. At the moment pessimism is winning. It's not that I don't love my childlike, optimistic side. I do. Perhaps I'm afraid if I get too excited about this writing thing and it falls flat then my exuberant, creative side will curl up and die from disappointment.
Does anyone else out there have this problem?